A Chorus of Lovely Voices · Guest Posts

How Your Boogeyman Can Set You Free: A Guest Post by Monica Wilcox

Okay, you guys–I have something special for you today. Without giving too much away, I want you to read the beautiful piece that follows with an open mind and heart. In several of our communications, Monica said, “It’s a bit woo woo…are you sure you’re okay with woo woo?” 

I told her yes. A resounding yes! Because this series is all about a Chorus of Lovely Voices and sometimes friends, those voices come from places we can’t see or are too fearful to check out. Monica has made it way less scary for us. Enjoy!  



How Your Boogeyman Can Set You Free

By Monica Wilcox

We don’t need to look into another’s eyes to feel terror. We don’t need cruel facial features or the bulk of a dark figure to know fear.  All it takes is a shadow, or the hint of a shadow, and we’re triggered. My childhood fears centered around Shadow Man; a spirit who was partial to my bedroom window. My very own boogeyman.

My parents (as I suspect most parents do) attributed Shadow Man to my overactive imagination. How could I argue? The only time I saw his face was in my dreams. Otherwise, he was a figure outlined in starlight who never spoke and rarely moved, not even to brush his paws across the glass.

My exasperated father fought my bedtime anxieties with physics. “It’s physically impossible to see into a darker space than the one you’re standing in,” he told me one winter night as we peeked into my window.  It was true, I couldn’t see a damn thing inside that room. After that Shadow Man became an official product of my imagination. I slept in relative peace, grew up, and moved on to other bedrooms.

And That Was That

Only it wasn’t. Because all of those bedrooms came with their own shadows. My imagination was so active in college my dorm mate still remembers the night a shadow fell out of our ceiling. For years I’d wake up in the middle of the night to see people standing over my bed, or walking through the room, or floating across my ceiling. I’d lay there thinking, “This is odd. I’m completely conscious, watching this Middle-Eastern man yell at me. This can’t be a dream and it can’t be my imagination otherwise Thor would be standing here.” Sometimes there were no shadows, only a male voice yelling a foreign language. It was easy for me to minimize these experiences. Curiosity is an easy weapon to grasp when we are fighting our fear of the unknown.

But a door can swing open on its own only so many times before our rational mind must turn to the irrational.  When my kids started to see and hear the shadows, the very same shadows I saw, I knew I had to drop my barriers and open myself up to dusky possibilities.  I was referred to Alyssa Malehorn, a reputable psychic, who suggested I watch the movie Ghost Town. She told me I was a beacon to earth-bound spirits (ghosts) like the main character in the movie. Then she asked about the male spirit who used to come to my window at night when I was a kid. (Whoa!) She said he was tied to the school across the street from my house. (Double whoa!!) She said he came because he knew I could sense him and wanted me to acknowledge his existence.  In that moment Shadow Man became School Man. He hadn’t come to my window to scare me, harm me, or torment me. He’d come looking for validation.

Over the years I have learned how to pick up when EBS are near, how to respectfully keep them out of my space, how to open gateways to the other side and to encourage them to cross over. Most of all, I became sympathetic to their plight. EBS are stuck in the in-between for personal reasons: unresolved issues, attachments to their life, fear of crossing into heaven, mental issues. The first gift we can provide these souls is compassion.

Which brings me back to School Man. A man who was no longer a product of my imagination. A spirit who could see into my dark bedroom. A man who only wanted someone to say, “I see you. I see you.”

I returned to my childhood home last month to locate School Man. When I was ten minutes out of town I asked my guides and Arch Angel Michael to connect with this spirit to let him know the little girl who lived in the black brick house was coming back for him and that if he was ready I would help him cross over.  It had been nearly thirty years since I moved out of that house. Thirty years. Was he still there? Was he still searching for someone to confirm his existence? Looming outside the windows of other intuitive children? How does a ghost blow time? Does a clock rule their existence as it rules ours?

I wondered these things as I pulled up to the playground that is cattycorner to my childhood home. I walked across the pea gravel, noting how much had changed and how many things were still the same. I opened up a gateway and invited School Man and all the other EBS in the area to cross into the light. I closed my eyes to find my mind filled with a glaring, burn-my-retinas-off fuchsia color. This is the usual indicator I get when souls have crossed. A sort of thumbs-up from the far side. I felt good, as if an overdue bill had finally been paid. I climbed into my car and drove away.

And That Was That

Only it wasn’t. As I pulled onto the interstate I started to wonder how the whole occurrence had felt from School Man’s perspective. He’d spent so many nights trying to get my attention. Instead of acknowledging his spirit, I had diminished and blocked it. Decades had passed until the shadows in my life became too numerous to ignore. I wondered how it felt to have an arch angel and a gaggle of guides show up to tell you the little girl you used to scare the shit out of was coming back for you.

The truth is, I had to grow beyond my fear before I could help School Man. The truth is our boogeyman mirrors who we are in that moment. They reflect our fears, our compassion, our understanding, our judgements, prejudices and our faith.  Where is your childhood boogeyman? Are they still waiting to be acknowledged? To be heard? Have you grown enough to be of service to them? Would you assist them if you could? Would it free you from your own fears?




Monica Wilcox is a contributing author for the Amazon bestseller 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul and the newly released 365 Days of Grace. She’s the spiritual columnist for FemCentral, a blogger and contributor for numerous websites and magazines. When her fingers aren’t caressing her laptop keys, she enjoys exploring dark corners and dank basements. She’d love to connect with you on Twitter or Goodreads.


Would you believe that Monica and I have an almost 30-year history and have only met once? She has two children – a boy and a girl – just like me. Her husband’s nickname is the same as mine and he is the dude responsible for this almost surreal friendship that was destined to happen no matter time or space.

Monica and I met in our sophomore (junior?) year in college when her not-quite-yet-dating-but-really-interested-now-husband introduced us. I knew then that the two would get married someday. I was an exchange student for only semester at their college, so I never met her again. But we kept in quiet touch via her husband through wedding invitations, Christmas cards, and eventually Facebook.

Monica is very modest in her 4-line bio. She’s been one of my favorite writers for a very long time and has a natural gift with words, people, and compassion. Please check out a few of my favorites: The Language of Grace, At Our Core, We Long for Mystery, and How to Befriend Your Dragon (my personal favorite).

Monica is partially responsible for starting my blog, too. She gave me recommendations, encouragement and kindness after I had reached out to her for advice. She also connected me to the 365 series authors she noted above–it takes a village, people!

She and I have been kindred spirits for decades and have only recently discovered that fact within the last two years. We both agreed that we love the synchronicity of our friendship and perhaps, some day we will meet again.

Thank you, Monica, from the bottom of my heart for sharing your amazing story. Please say hello in the comments below – I know you’ll adore her as much as I do!  xoxoxo

47 thoughts on “How Your Boogeyman Can Set You Free: A Guest Post by Monica Wilcox

  1. Dear Monica,
    Thank you again for sharing your amazing story. I loved this so much – so many favorite phrases and lines for me. Here are just a few…

    It’s physically impossible to see into a darker space than the one you’re standing in – cuz our daddies always make things better with logic.

    A man who only wanted someone to say, “I see you. I see you.” – what one of us doesn’t want another to see us? EBS or real live person?

    The truth is our boogeyman mirrors who we are in that moment. This line gave me chills – makes me think of the literal mirror we stare into every evening before bed with an eye toward the something that might jump into view from behind.

    You’ve undarkened the corners and fluffed the pillows in the halls of MamaMick today. For that, I truly appreciate you. xo

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You know how hard it is for me to leave those corners alone. lol I’m so glad you offered me a space on your blog, Michelle. It’s been an honor.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. So true, Bob. I can’t tell you the number of EBS who only want to be acknowledged. Imagine being in a space where the majority of the people you see don’t see you. It has to be very lonely.

      One of the things that surprises me most about earth bound spirits is that they are exactly the same person they were when they passed out of their body. Same speech patterns, gripes, issues, humor, gestures, anger, love and needs. I find it telling. If you think you’re going to pass over and instantly morph into someone else, think again. Atleast for awhile, we take all of it, the good and the bad, with us.

      Thank you for sharing this on your own blog!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. “Imagine being in a space where the majority of the people you see don’t see you. It has to be very lonely”

        ^This. This is not so hard for most of us–especially those of us drawn to writing–to imagine.

        More commonplace than ever with everyone fixated on their smartphone screens. 😉

        Enjoyed this a lot. Shadows can’t exist without light.

        Love , Christy


    1. Thank you for popping in Marissa! And yes, I think I have awesome taste in friends and writers – was just thinking about your grammatically correct poem just the other day. My goodness! I need to hop over and see you. Saving my reading for a time I can savor everything 🙂


    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Oloriel. The truth is I would have never shared this 10 years ago but I’ve learned two important lessons after blogging for eight years. First, you’re going to be judged by people no matter what you write so you might as well cover the topics that feed you. Second, the best writers aren’t afraid to make themselves vulnerable. It’s bloody hard but you’ll be surprised by the number of readers who will relate to you. Go ahead. Give it a try. Write something that you pray your grandmother will never read. Then put it out to the world.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I am not scared or put off by others judging me, it is something that is ever present.I always post my writing which is, as I am told, not for everybody. I am not quite yet at terms with myself, is what I was referring to 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      1. My mistake, Oloriel (your name sounds lovely). Writing is a fantastic way to establish those terms. Keep writing, keep exploring. 🙂


  2. This is fantastically written and sounds fantastic, but I do kinda believe it, or at least that it could well be precisely as you say. I think there are different kinds of spirits around – some which have some kind of reason for not passing on as they should, and others which are a bit more malevolent.

    I hope you keep up the good work, even if it sounds “woo woo”. And I’m glad you got Michelle to write a blog 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m not sure why but I’d say 90% of my interactions with EBS have not been malevolent. I do know EBS and other energies can have negative intentions against the living but I have ZERO tolerance for it. If they scare my kids or my dog (and they have) they’re gone. If they invade my space, they’re gone. I’m a stickler for mutual respect with the living and spirits.

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Waves vigorously to Lizzi! Hello, Love!
      I’m a person who has never seen spirits, but always seems to be searching for them. I told Monica that I can hear funky things sometimes, but never with my eyes.
      Thanks for being here, Lizzi…I can feel my fog slowly lifting. xo

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hello my lovely *HUGS*

        I’ve never seen one myself, but my dad used to work in a kebab shop that was haunted by the previous owner. He used to come in and tidy up the chairs around the little tables. The guy who had used to work with him had always been badgered by him to get the cellars refurbished. When the builders were there, they reported the shape of a man standing at the base of the stairs watching them as they worked. I think once the cellars were done, he wasn’t seen again.

        And apparently there’s a village in the UK where everyone in the whole place can hear the sounds of an ancient sea-battle taking place, including the cannon-fire from the ships. So.

        I’ve never looked for them though – I think I believe too much.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Great story Monica, and a very big journey to understand your path.
    I suppose I’ll just have to resolve my path by looking under the bed each night, I don’t see spirit, I just get a ‘knowing’ that comes through.
    But in your case of actually seeing things, that would have been an incredible journey, trying to come to grips with what you see and what your parents told you weren’t there. It must have been very confusing for many years.
    But as spirit tells me, that journey is the growth of you, your own understanding of ‘your’ truth and the journey through this life that you are on. And in the telling of your story, you have come to terms with who you really are, and what does have meaning, rather than being led along in this world by your ‘ponytails’ 🙂
    Thank you for sharing Monica, I enjoyed your openness in the telling. And thank you Michelle, for sharing another part of your heart…the connection of a true friend 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. “Led along in this world by your ‘ponytails’.” I love this, Mark. Those ponytails can become a real problem when our truth doesn’t match what we’ve been told. Keep embracing “the knowing”. It will keep your eyes open and your heart thumpin’.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Most certainly Monica, it is the only truth worth knowing 🙂
        And Michelle, where have you been hiding this young lady…you can feel the glow from a thousand yards 😀
        I shall await the next guest spot 🙂


  4. I haven’t had an experience like this yet, but I do believe that something like this is entirely possible. As they say, there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy!

    Also, I loved the narrative, Michelle! Glad you invited Monica to write – she is a prolific storyteller, and I’m looking forward to reading more of her work.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My long lost friend! How are you, A?? Monica is a master weaver of words and I’ve stalked her for longer than I care to admit (*waves sheepishly to Monica!)
      Thank you for being here – I love seeing those pics of your bambino! xo


      1. LOL!! You can stalk me whenever you feel the need, Michelle.

        Thank you for the compliment, Anawinimiss. I’ll hold it close to my heart tonight as I rework, yet again, the query letter for my novel. I’d rather be sharing stories!!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Fascinating account Monica. Love the way it is internally consistent and hooks into reality as most perceive it (i.e. boogeyman and such)/. I have never doubted that this physical existence is but a small part of who we are but have never before heard any accounts of consistent and meaningful views of what is “not” here. Nice. I have always been somewhat shy of dealing with the dead as the good book says to not seek them out as they know no more of life than the living do. To that end i have deliberately avoided psychics, tools of necromancy, Ouija boards, and even movies involving the dead. This is not a fear really – although it does concern me that it is possible to contact evil this way – but rather a prophylactic against the dead. That said, I recognize that “seeking out” and “accepting” are two very different scenarios. i do accept that there is life beyond death and we can communicate with it when it comes knocking.

    I really liked your line in the comments: “I do know EBS and other energies can have negative intentions against the living but I have ZERO tolerance for it.” If i knew that I had the power to affect such spirits so they could not harm, I would be much more casual about communication. Having met situations occasionally in my past that spun out of control very quickly once initiated, I fear the power of evil that lays beyond the grave and will do whatever is necessary to prevent such an occurrence. Perhaps because you have been given the gift of sight in this forum,you have also been given the power and authority to control – I am not convinced that is a commonly held skill.

    Thanks so very much for the post Monica, and thank you Mama for having Monica as a guest – very enlightening.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Dearest Paul,
      You are always such a gem in how you find amazing nuances within each story. I’ve read this one over and over again (along with the few that I listed). I don’t seek the dead simply because I don’t know how…but, I would if I could. I’d leave cookies and milk if it helped!!
      I have always been fascinated and drawn to the other world…Monica just made it real and attainable in these few paragraphs.
      Thank you for being here – I hope to re engage with the gang soon and read all that I’ve been missing. xo

      Liked by 2 people

    2. You’ve brought up an interesting point, Paul. I’m not sure why I don’t come across many EBS with negative intentions. It could be the personal energy I put out or my guardian angels. For me, a spirit showing up in my space is the same as a stranger coming to the door looking for help. I’m here as long as they are respectful.

      I’m still contemplating the nature of the energies we label as evil. I have experienced entities that I can only describe as “malice” based on the way they make me feel but I wonder if they truly mean me harm or if they are so foreign, so unrecognizable to my human nature, that the only category we can give them is “evil”. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m brave enough to test my theory. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are entities that would harm us. You’re wise to stay clear of Ouija boards and other tools that might invite negativity into you home. As for psychics, you might be surprised how many of them work directly with the good book, arch angels, Jesus and God. Alyssa is one of these.

      Thanks for your thought provoking comment. It’s spurring a future column/post within me. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I do believe in good and evil spirits.
    I believe in guardian angels.
    I believe that LIGHT overpowers DARKNESS.
    Always. Forever.
    I believe if we are open and mindful, we would hear many voices.
    Including GODS.
    I pray to hear his voice daily.
    Great piece! x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was an interesting, yet fascinating post. I dont particularly believe in spirits, however I do have a weird flirtation with the ethereal part of the human experience. Im not sure if you ever experienced “sleep lock”, but its when your body is asleep, but your mind is awake. I used to be terrified of this phenomena as a kid, but recently, Ive learned how to do it on purpose. If you get good at it, you can mentally contact whoever you think about. Once you contact them mentally, that person nornally will reach out to you the next day. Sounds incredulous, but ive tested this theory out several times.


    1. Hi Vinny,
      I’m popping in on Monica’s post to send you a quick note.
      I have definitely experienced the sleep lock and like you, practice doing it on purpose when I need to reach someone who I haven’t spoken to in a very long time. And also like you, I was scared of the phenomena. Now? It feels like a super power.
      Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting. Monica’s post has certainly given us all food for thought.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem. I havent done the sleep lock thing in awhile, because i was stressed for awhile. Its a fascinating thing, once you get the hang of it. Im going to stop by yout blog.

        Liked by 1 person

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