Adventures in Imperfection

Light Housekeeping: I’ll Scrub Your Toilets if You Read This!

It’s gonna get messy in here for a moment. MamaMick’s place boasts a cluttered desk, a monkey mind, and piles of laundry everywhere.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/308144799479296755/
Via

I would rather get on my knees and scrub dirty toilets for you than have to ask for what comes next.

*Grabs paper bag

*Takes a deep breath

Could you please do a load of laundry, dust the furniture, and help me get the place presentable for the rest of 2016? Oh! You live too far away? Well then, how about this?

Would you please consider signing up for my newsletter?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Click here to sign up today!>>>>>>>>>>>>

 *Grabs the bag

*Vomits inside

*Hugs your knees in gratitude

Why sign up?  Isn’t the blog and self-promotion on Facebook and Twitter already enough?

Here’s what’s in it for you:

  • book updates–launches, favorites, and news *Waves to Joanne and Mark
  • info on blog posts or guest posters–blogs, articles, Tweets–all in one spot
  • what I’m cooking or crafting–my Pinterest addictions to Steampunk fashion, vintage graphics, and desserts
  • exclusive photos and experiments–more shiny objects
  • insider giveaways and special offers–the first one happens below!

Here’s what’s in it for me:

  • I am one of the contributors to the anthology, 365 Moments of Grace–due on June 21st, and I want to share it with everyone!
  • A publisher won’t even sniff at my almost-finished book unless I have something mysterious called a “platform” and an “e-mail” list. Gees…so picky.
Minnie-Polka-Dot-Pumps
My preferred platform(s)

Fine! I’ll add a bit of bribery, too. The first 100 subscribers will be eligible for a random drawing and a chance to win one of these lovely prizes.

In a future post, I’ll highlight the winners from the newsletter campaign as well as the winner from Two Truths and Lie (you thought I forgot, didn’t you?)

What if you’re guy? What would you do with an apron? Mother’s Day is just around the corner 😉

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/350084571008690687/
via

Please consider signing up–I’ll even come over and scrub your toilets or wash the windows.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Click here to sign up today!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

**Apologies for the extra “click” step. I tried to embed the code for a fancy schmancy, auto sign-up form, but I do laundry, not computers. 🙂

**Waves to Christy – thank you for your help and discerning eye. xo

*****

Stain Cycle: At the end of each chapter of my forthcoming book, I’ve added the post-scripts Stray Sock and Stain Cycle. The Stray Sock captures a short, random thought from the previous prose for the reader to take home and find a match in their life. The Stain Cycle is a deeper look at any residual angst behind the humor–a place for another spin and soak. It’s a theme I’ll be incorporating into future blog posts, too.

Today’s stain cycle: I am not a social media butterfly–especially Facebook. I love/hate showcasing my blog there. Often times, I write these pieces for friends and family who are not regular subscribers because I want to reach them in the only way I know how. Then I ruminate for days and wonder if they read it.

On the flip side, I have remorse the moment I post it. Am I sharing too much? Am I being conceited to think people will read this? Did my words help anyone? UGH. Each time I’m ready to delete my account, I see pictures of your families, your adventures, and your life.

I would miss that.

I’m honored that you ever take the time to read my ramblings and support me the way that you do. I never take your presence and kindness for granted.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/281543703049461/
Via

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Click here to sign up today!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

74 thoughts on “Light Housekeeping: I’ll Scrub Your Toilets if You Read This!

      1. Oh, she did, trust me….she can clean my house any day 😀
        Jokes aside, I will be very interested in just hearing from you and your take on life with the Newsletter Michelle 🙂
        (Pssst, you can give her my address anytime) 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  1. OK, I signed up, but, if perchance I’m one of the first 2, I’ll pass on the prize. My mom wouldn’t have much use for the (lovely) apron as she has left the mortal realm – well, maybe the book. My local library would like that when I’m done with it. Always entertaining – reblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sure an apron would be an improvement over my red thong. Literally, OVER my red thong. I’m so excited for you taking your writing to the next level, Michelle. It certainly deserves to be taken there, and I can’t wait to read your book. Cheers and congrats… and heck YEAH I signed up! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ooooooo….

    shit’s about to get REAL!
    excited for you, and hell yes I signed up…
    but i can pass on gifts too.
    but if you come visit i’ll have some supplies for you, besides a comfy couch!
    xo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I got the impression that you wanted me to signup for something but I couldn’t find a link. Bwahaha! I couldn’t resist. I’m hoping to win the dress – Nudge, Nudge Wink Wink.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heh! Heh! I put all of those extra links in their for my hubby because I never know when he’ll stop reading. I hope you win the dress, too…I’ll hand deliver it later this month when you come to visit!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, thank you! It makes me very happy to hear! I sent out so many free copies for reviews, but got none yet and am thinking :”Whew, was the book that horrible?”. I am just happy to hear you liked it!
        I am really looking forward to your newsletter, especially since I swear it’s not my internet recipe hunting addiction, but I saw Pinterest mentioned somewhere, among other amazing and interesting things! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Are you kidding? I’d sign up no matter what, of course! You’re adorable. And I “get it” – it’s so so uncomfortable to ask! But – you did a great job and made it easy peasy. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You paved the way for me, Beth. You truly did. So much of what I have learned in publishing has been from you. There will never be enough toilets for me to clean to say my thanks. MUAH!

      Like

  6. You are a crazy woman! I thought I was busy! HA!~
    You.. my dear make me look like I sit around and eat bons bons!!
    School is done! (well almost) i have 2 things to do TODAY! Then I am done.. Except for a party tomorrow and go to watch rest of classmates give speeches on Wed. I did mine this morning! YAH! But I will officially be done with my work this afternoon! YAH ME! *jumps up and down and fist pump*
    My life does not slow down though. I have to drive to Dallas for a Dr appt tomorrow morning, clean my house thoroughly and do all laundry before next Tuesday because I have to undergo another procedure on my mouth 😦 THEN I have no choice! I will have to stop my life for a little while. I might actually get some writing done. What else am I going to do? I can’t talk! Wha???????
    Can you imagine??? OMG!
    ***too***much***coffee***must***slow***down… LOL! Later gator! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. How did your speech go?? I’ve been thinking about you. You are officially on the home stretch, right? Until you find the next project.
      I love your coffee comments. I am so sorry you have to have a procedure that won’t allow you to talk (yikes!)…but I am looking forward to reading your writing again.
      Thank you for being here and for signing up. You rock!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Speech went well. I succeeded in completing the assignment properly so I should make a good grade on it. It was a commemorative speech that could be done about a person, place or event that has had an impact on you. I did mine on Sign Language and how I use it for Praise and Worship. My teacher goes to my church and she loves to watch me and talks about it all the time. There were a couple of things I wanted to say but I didn’t remember to put them in my notes, soooo they didn’t get said, but no one knows that but me. I have an A in the class and that’s what matters! 🙂
        I still have a few more semesters to get my Bachelors degree but only 2 semesters for my Associates in Theater at local college. I have 125 hours after this semester though! LOL! I would be a professional student but there is no pay in that…. ha ha ha ha! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Done, and done! And not just because you are going to come clean my toilets…. you are coming to clean my toilets, right? I must warn you, we have four girls, and the two toddlers don’t always have great aim. Sigh… potty training is fun. Not sure how you miss when you’re sitting??? Off on a tangent I go. lol Best of luck with everything! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You had me at “I’ll scrub your toilets.” Being on a well, having ancient toilets and hard water, combined with my dislike of cleaning toilets, they’re due for a good scrub. Thank you for giving me a good reason for procrastinating from my chores. But I must kick myself out the door as the lawn won’t mow itself! Off for my meditation time on the John Deere!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Of course I signed up because you make me laugh and smile! This is wonderful and I look forward to the watching and reading the journey my friend! XOXO

    I fixed the washer verses cleaning the bathroom 🙂 I’m weird

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Congratulations! I’m just now finding your blog. That’s really exciting you’re trying to hook a publisher. I hope they give you a chance! You’re definitely entertaining and funny. They’ll be missing out if they pass you over.

    Liked by 1 person

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