BD (Big Daddy) married me almost 23 years ago and still doesn’t understand how pillows work on the bed. His choice would be to leave them laying on the floor; allowing the bed to more accessible when it was time to turn in for the night. In fact, if it were up to him, the bed would never be made and always ready for the rare, spontaneous nap. The few days that he’s been brave enough to arrange them, the pillows typically look like this:
A nice, appreciated effort–but wrong. He watched me rearrange his masterpiece and exclaimed, “I just don’t get pillows. Why do women need so many pillows?”
Ding! Ding! Ding! A seed idea for my next article! My family is starting to recognize the “Blog Idea Look” when the spacey light bulb-ish expression comes across my face. Poor BD, he knew it was too late and even cowered when I sent him an e-mail asking about other things men don’t understand about women. He responded a few hours later and said, “I haven’t got back to you yet on your question. I have to handle that with kid gloves.”
He’s such a smart man.
5 things Men don’t understand about Women
Admittedly, there are way more things that men don’t get about women than the measly five listed below. But in the interest of brevity and to keep any(accidental/forced) male readers engaged in this post, I’ll keep it short.
1) The Female Brain:
Need an example? Consider the man/woman brainwaves in the following car driving scenario:
Female Goddess: What a nice day. So pretty outside. Why is he so quiet? He barely said anything before we walked out the door. Now, he’s just looking off into space. I wonder what he’s thinking. Did he find out about the door ding on the car? Oh man. I think he knows. He must be mad. Yep, he looks mad. Crap. Should I come clean now or just wait for him to say something? Why won’t he talk? Can’t he see that I’m dying over here? He’s so moody. I clean his house, wash his clothes, cook his dinner…what’s a little door ding? But, if it’s not the door ding, then what is it? Maybe he thinks I’m getting fat or hates what I’m wearing. I thought I looked kinda cute. I DO look cute! Look at my hair and I have cleavage today. Why does he have to be so hard on me! Ugh. I hate this day.”
Clueless Hubby/Boyfriend: “That’s a cool car. I like cars. Fast cars. Kinda hungry though. Look..Boobies!”
2) Shoes. YES, we do need 4 or 5 different pairs of black shoes. To name a few, there are pumps, sandals, stiletto’s, Mary Jane’s, flats, booties and peep toes–all of which are found in black. Black booties with an A-line skirt make us look like we have short legs but are kickin’ with a new pair of “Miss Me” jeans. Mary Janes are typically reserved for business and there are times when even our men know that naughty, sexy stilettos trumps flip-flops on date night.
3) Fat Jeans. In case of chocolate, or periods…or both.
4) Crying. Personally, I’m not much of a crier which is why poor BD is completely caught off guard when it happens. It could be anything from a major life crisis like an illness or death in the family to a less than critical, but equally traumatic event like a Hallmark commercial or a baby bird laying dead on the street.
5) Women do fuzzy math. Age, weight, cost of an item. In all instances, we round it down. Example: If something costs $95.95, hubby will tell me it cost him $100. If he asks me the same question, I’ll say it was closer to $80-ish. Give or take twenty bucks depending upon the item.
Now, for a little bonus. Words and phrases men should always avoid in order to dodge hair-pulling drama and arguments that often arise in an otherwise happy, normal day.
- Did you mean to cut your hair that short?
- That must run in your family.
- You sound like your mom.
- You sound like my mom.
- How much did that cost?
- Are you going to wear that?
- What did you do to it? (In reference to a non-working can opener, a TV, a garage door, the internet router). Don’t question it…just FIX IT!!
- Oh, I get it. You’re getting ready to have your period, aren’t you?
Equally important phrases from your woman that signal a fight has already begun:
- I’m fine.
- Go ahead.
- I don’t care.
We know we can be hard to handle and don’t envy your job. If this article were truly helpful, I could have clued you in on the “why behind the what” as well as what you can actually do to keep us happy.
But, that’s no fun for anybody.
Admittedly, some of us delight in driving you crazy. You probably wouldn’t have it any other way. God created men and women different for so many obvious reasons (plus, I think He has a wonderfully warped sense of humor).
Hopefully, you can hang with us and continue to lovingly wade your way through the pillows to find the deep, soft heart reserved just for you.
Addendum: To my 2-4.5 regular male readers. What did I leave out? What else don’t you understand about women? Enlighten us in the comments below.