Ten minutes into my first “real” post and already my fingers have frozen at the keyboard. Left-brain has been in overdrive ever since I shared the “Jumping off the Ledge” announcement a couple of weeks ago and Right-brain has gone into permanent hiding! Last night’s attempt at sleep was spent in an epic battle with the bed covers and constant mathematics around how many zzz’s I could get if I drifted off immediately. Umm…3 hours last time I checked…
What’s the dilemma you ask? It’s just a stupid blog, right?
Honestly, I had planned to share a story so funny, clever and engaging that you’d be hooked from the beginning. Something unforgettable that’d make you fall fast and hard. Kinda like putting on high heels and a red dress in order to grab your attention for a drink and a one night stand.
Frankly, I’m just not that type of girl.
I’m really looking for a long-term relationship here and starting with the good stuff just felt wrong and out of character. Like any good friendship, we need to build a foundation and get to know each better before we skydive into the really good, juicy stuff, right?
The thing is, I want you to come back. I want you to trust me. I want to make you laugh and I want you to like me.
Ugh. I want to be PERFECT!
Sound familiar? If so, then you are in the right place!
My words and photographs are dedicated to the mighty men and women (and boys and girls) who strive for daily perfection and beat themselves up when they fall short. We humans plug cluelessly along–buried in stuff, careers, mindless media chatter and busy family activities all while pretending that perfection is actually attainable. We proudly wear our exhaustion and crazy schedules like the Congressional Medal of Honor until our perfect bubble bursts by whatever little curve ball life throws us (an empty gas tank, a missed school note, laundry that breeds while we sleep, and the wrong word used with the person you love the most). It’s those unintended mishaps that you and I are going to celebrate, laugh at and learn from.
If you’re smiling and nodding your head today, that’s good. If you are still reading and laughing tomorrow–that’s even better. In my Type-A way, I’ve described below what this page will and will not be. Don’t be surprised as I find my voice (and you share yours) that I’ll add to this list; however, these are my core goals and want you to know what to expect.
1) I am NOT an expert. My words are not those of a professional psychologist or trained professional. I’m simply a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend trying to love my kiddos, husband, parents, siblings and friends in ways that make them feel special, unique and valuable. And, quite honestly, I want them to love me the same way back.
2) You WILL laugh. In fact, this is probably the most serious post of mine that you’ll read. Any life-lessons and profound messages you glean from these words will likely be completely accidental–buried in the context of clueless mistakes and below the surface sarcasm. We’ve all been here–the times that our many faults come crashing front and center for all to see and appreciate. Please don’t make reading this another item on your list of things in your day that you “have to do.” Sit down for a couple of minutes, read something to make you giggle and let it be okay if you learn a little in the process.
3) You WILL be learning with me. My “day job” is a clinical, demanding, right-brain sucking 40+ hours and ten-states-travel type of career. I haven’t written anything meaningful other than e-mails since college. You won’t hear much about my job, but you may see the effects. Writer’s block, insomnia and caffeine. In fact, just let me apologize in advance for anything that I write at 3 a.m. while jacked up on diet Mountain Dew.
4) I WILL be honest. I will share my mistakes in their full dorky glory. You will see the times where I have screwed up, burned the meatloaf, made questionable fashion choices, almost drowned the dog, and said things (out loud…in public) that made the crickets stop chirping. Real life is way better than fiction!
5) These stories WILL be real. I have names and events and I’m not afraid to use them. They may be slightly embellished, but that’ll only be for literary bling–every girl needs a little bling, right?
6) What about Jesus? You won’t hear a lot about Jesus, but He will be walking beside me the whole way. Hopefully, you’ll see evidence of that in the stories I share and the words I use. If you see a swear word, it’ll only be because I asked Him first and He said, “Sure…go for it!”
7) I DO want to hear from you! And, with your permission, I want to share your stories, too. This ain’t all about me. You can leave comments about your own adventures, or you can drop me an e-mail and I’ll share with our audience in future posts.
Why would I do this in such a public forum?
It’s simply because I want to share what it took me 40+ years to learn. When we share our imperfections, it makes us real and reachable to the people who love us the most.
I’ve finally learned that vulnerable is GOOD! Vulnerability and “keeping it real” make us loveable and courageous. It’s when we are at our most vulnerable that others accept and love us for who we are and not who we think we should be. Can you think of anyone who doesn’t want to be loved and accepted–faults and all??
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means more than you know. This is only our first date and already I can feel the beginnings of a really great relationship.
I know this journey will be perfect…
Coming Soon: Why I will never love the Kansas City Chiefs again
Photo credits on this post go to my talented friend, Shelby Hoytal. You can check out her awesome work at: http://www.shelbyhoytal.com